I wish I had the power of invisibility

INVISIBLE

By Angela Kinja. I wish I had the power of invisibility then I think I would enjoy my life a little bit more. I’d disappear into nothingness at the drop of a hat. Experience my alone time in a more intense manner and experience it anyway at any time. Am not sure though that being invisible would morph out the noise. If it didn’t then I wish I had the power to tune in and out of sound with just a thought. I’d retreat to my own little world that I have created in my thoughts and live in my fantasy Utopian world.

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RETREAT

Some days I’d retreat with a book and really get into the meat of the story as I let the writer transport me into the world they created. On other occasions I would retreat with music and let the singer sing my life in their own words and melodies. I’d let the music sink into my veins and move through me as it awakens, heals and restores my soul.

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There are moments when I would get invisible then site myself at a place where I can people watch. Not in a creepy stalker way that would have people report me if they could see me. It’s more in the lines of I am a weirdo who finds watching people move about their day calming, cathartic and enjoyable. There is something about watching people be themselves without their knowledge of being watched that reveals so much about human nature. You would also get to learn a thing or two.

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The aim of people watching however would not be for passing along judgement cause then the gift would be a curse. Neither would it be to eavesdrop on people’s private conversations since I would be denying people the freedom I had hoped my power would award me.

INVISIBILITY

 

Though a double standard, I’d still listen in to people’s conversations. Hopefully with the help of another power, don’t know what I would call it, that analyses the kind of conversation people are having before I can proceed to listen. I would especially love to listen in to a good story teller, story telling is one of the things I which I could do.

A good story teller has a way with words, voice intonation as well as a little exaggeration that has you hanging on to their every word. I on the other hand get a bit too over excited in sharing that I end up rushing into the ending without really having gotten into the juicy details.

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DISAPPEAR

They are many moments I feel like disappearing but not in a “am depressed I wish I could end my life kind of way.” I rather enjoy my life because God has been generous enough to award it to me and has continued to shower me His grace. I mean disappear in the sense that I sometimes want to just be by myself in a me space where I can just be me. Not that I am clear on what me is but I surely know what I definitely ain’t. Feels like in a lot of circumstances people don’t get me and in my spirit of accommodation I chameleon around into other people’s likes.
awareness
Feels like I have listened to songs, attended events, watched movies been in agreement with people’s point of view so many times I have failed my soul. I just want to be me, weird and unapologetically so. To hold conversations with myself, break into song and dance whenever the mood arises. Listen to my deep meaning kind of songs, watch unpopular films, stroll around in my weird sense of fashion with no destination in mind. Hold intense and deeply personal conversations with a thousand different soulmates, cry during sad films and songs and laugh out loud to inner jokes. To go out on dates with different guys with no strings attached ( not in a sexually crazed manner) cause I like the rush.
FRIENDS
I crave a different kind of buzz and that is not necessarily bad it’s just different.
But maybe instead of wishing for the impossible I should get my head back to ” vitu kwa ground”. I just need a bucket full of courage, a pair of big girl pants and a sprinkle of live in the moment but live for the Omega. I wish I had the power of invisibility.
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